As you wish

The Princess Bride is a movie that I haven't seen in about ten years and the only thing that I remember about it is that it was hilarious (and boy was it). This "romantic" comedy is directed by Rob Reiner (one of the best movies he has done) was kinda slapsticky and is a great example of late 80's comedy. It starred a very young Cary Elwes (who is hilarious in this) and had a lot of smaller roles played b some big name actors, like Billy Crystal, Carol Kane, Fred Savage, Christopher Guest, Chris Sarandon, and even a interesting performance by Andre the Giant. Enough with all that hub-bub and here are a couple of trailers.





The movie starts out with Fred Savage's grandfather (played by Peter Falk) reading a story to him because he was sick.

Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles...


The story starts with Wesley (Cary Elwes) and Buttercup (Robin Wright) falling in love with each other only to have Wesley leave to seek fortune, only after promising to come back for her. Buttercup hears that he never made is and was captured and killed by Dread Pirate Roberts. Five years later she is set to wed Prince Humperdinck, about a week before the wedding Buttercup is kidnapped by these three guys and is told she will be killed to start a war. As they make it to the cliffs of insanity they are followed by this man in black.



After the man in black catches up with them he has a sword fight with the Spaniard (after a short break). A short time later he gets some rocks thrown at his head, so he makes a deal with Andre the Giant to fight hand to hand. Defeating Andre the Giant with a sleeper hold he is then challenged to a battle of wits, in which he wins easily by being immune to the poison that they both drink.



While all of this is going on they are followed by Prince Humperdinck and his crew. It takes buttercup pushing the man in black down a huge hill to figure out who he actually is (her beloved Wesley).



As they are running from the Prince they go through some creepy ass woods and Wesley fights a ginormous rat.



After making it out of the woods Wesley is captured (sent to a torture chamber) and buttercup says that she will go back to the Prince. The prince convinces buttercup to marry him if Wesley doesn't come back for her (she thinks he returned to being Dread Pirate Roberts and would come back for her). As Wesley is being tortured Andre the Giant and the Spaniard hear him and go to rescue him.



When he is found he is almost dead and is taken to an old miracle man (played by Billy Crystal). After being revived from being "mostly dead" he can barely move and is dragged around by Andre the Giant. After invading the castle the Spaniard seeks his revenge on the six fingered man (he's the guy that killed the Spaniards father) and Wesley goes after Buttercup.

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.


So pretty much thats the end of the movie, Spaniard got his revenge and Wesley rescued Buttercup (after out witting the Prince). All is good and the story ends with a kiss.

Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind.

The End.

Grandpa, maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow.

As you wish.

Next Week: Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Terrific. Where the heck is 122 1/8?

Alright so I have been a little late with my regular weekly updates (even though I not sure if anyone actually reads them). I have been distracted the last couple of weeks (god damn Resident Evil 5) and I don't want this blog to die and thrown into the wasteland of all the other dead blogs strewn across the internet. So I'm gonna try to make a vow to myself to get the posts out sooner and I don't want to miss a week (unless it is something that has been shown recently).

Enough with my worrying about the releases of the posts, now to the content. Don't know if its worth saying but I'm not terribly happy with the layout and presentation of my posts so I am gonna try to change them. It has been a little hard for me to come up with "review" type things to say about a lot of the movies lately. Recently they have all been films that I love or hold a special place in my heart. So basically I'm saying that I'm gonna change the way I post, so with all that said on with the Feature Presentation.

This week is my favorite movie as a kid,I still love it to this day and still watch it from time to time. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles made my favorite cartoon real and put it up on the big screen. They have made a couple of sequels (unfortunately in one of them they go "back in time") and even a CG one with an all new story, but none of those I enjoy as much as the original. The movie with enjoyable characters April O'Neil and Casey Jones played by Judith Hoag and Elias Koteas respectfully, and I think that what tops it all off is the voice work done by Corey Feldman(Donatello). Alright enough about that, first a trailer then on with the movie.



The movie starts out with a news broadcast by April O'Neil about the recent crime wave that is hitting the big apple, as that going on you are seeing how is done. When April is done for the night as she is leaving walks into some criminals and the try to mug her. Only to have there attempt thwarted by some "unknown heroes". Enter the ninja turtles, as they are relishing in their first real fight Raph is bummed out because he lost a sai during the fight. So he decides to catch a movie.

Ugh. Where do they come up with this stuff?


Afterward he stops a purse snatching and when he goes to catch the criminals someone else is already teaching them a lesson. Casey Jones and Raph have it out a little bit and after Casey cans Raph he takes off to catch the bad guys. Raph wanting to get his sai back starts to follow April, which is a good thing because she gets jumped by the Foot Clan.

Am I behind on my Sony payments again?


After a understandable freakout by April she is told the story of their origin. When she goes home she invites the Turtles in for some pizza and on their return home Splinter is missing. The Turtles go back to April for some help only to have the Foot Clan show up there and after a big battle they burn down April's building (only after being "saved" by Casey Jones).

You guys mind telling me what you're doing to my little green pal over there, hm?


They all recoup and get their bearings at an old farm house of April's. After some training and a "visit" from Splinter they decide that they have to go back and take on the Foot Clan again. After returning Casey follows Danny (Foot member that has become friends with the Turtles and Splinter) to The Foot's hideout and they rescue Splinter.



Meanwhile the Turtles are taking on the entire Foot Clan (for some reason they fight them out of the sewers and up a building to the roof top) and eventually meet their leader Shredder.

Don't know, but I bet it never has to look for a can-opener.


Shredder is too good for the Turtles to fight and when he is about to kill Leo, Splinter shows up and that pisses off Shredder. After pulling off his mask (showing the scars that Splinter gave him) he charges him and then gets flipped over the edge of the building, to then be dropped into a waiting garbage truck.

For when you die, it will be ... Without honor.


After Casey compacts the truck and makes out with April a little bit, Splinter makes a funny. I think that this movie is still enjoyable today and for all ages even though it might not have stood the test of time. I still love the shit out of it and
I have always liked... Cowabunga.

COWABUNGA!


Next Week: The Princess Bride

How horrible our Christmas will be!

This week is Tim Burton's "classic" The Nightmare Before Christmas. I have yet to see this (before this post) and have always wondered what drew in all of the punk and goth kids to this movie. I remember seeing a making of on HBO before this came out and was really interested in the process of how it was filmed (stop motion) but didn't have a desire to see it. Well before I attempt to delve in to this movie a little bit here is a trailer for your viewing pleasure...



This might come to a shock to some people but after seeing this movie i am rather indifferent towards it. If you didn't know what this movie was about here ya go, Bored and unhappy with the life of being "The Pumpkin King" Jack Skellington of Halloween Town, Jack sets out to find something exciting. Jack discovers "Christmas Town" and takes it upon himself to take over the duties of Santa to deliver toys across the world to children. (credit to IMDb) I was a little bummed out that this movie isn't even feature length with a run time of only 76 minutes. I'm not really sure what all to say without bashing this movie but, I didn't care for it at all. So the only thing that I really liked in this movie would be the soundtrack. The story was really predictable and I could almost tell what the fate of all the characters were (a lot like when I saw Corpse Bride). That's all I really want to say about this mediocre movie, I guess I can still show you some interesting scenes...

I loved the detail in the "art".


The holiday crossroads.


Jack's Christmas experiments.


The black light was interesting effect, it added to the psychedelic feel.


Zero is the new Rudolph.


Christmas turns evil!


Halloween Town gets a little taste of the real Christmas.


Next week: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles